Posted on12 Sep 2012
Chivalrous courting rules tell us that the man should pay for the date and by and large women still expect you to do so. There’s nothing particularly wrong or sexist about it. If the girl enjoys that you’ve paid for the date and it makes you feel good to do so then everyone comes out a winner (as long as you’re not being gross and expecting a little something at the end of the date in exchange for that payment). However, there are situations in which a woman should foot the bill (although you should be careful about expecting that if you’re on a date like the ones described below since it’s no guarantee).
If the woman obviously has and makes more money she should at least offer to pay half the bill, if not the entire thing. This can be a touchy subject since some guys are emasculated by a woman that makes more than them but in truth a well to do woman shouldn’t be dating a guy like that. She should find a man that’s comfortable with her income level (or even overjoyed at it) and would be more than happy to have her pay for the date.
If a woman asks you out, or approaches you first on the online dating site, then you can at least expect her to pay for half the date. If you’re asking her out then there’s something of an implied contract there that you’ll be paying for the date. That holds if the opposite is true and she’s done the asking. It’s particularly true if she plans the date, which would mean she has a concept of what it costs and is taking that on herself and not asking you to fork out (when she would likely have no idea what kind of money you make).
It doesn’t apply to first dates but a woman can be expected to pay for certain special occasions, in particular when she and her man go out for his birthday. Nobody should have to pay for dinner or any kind of activity on their birthday, particularly with a girlfriend. Even if you’re the one picking the restaurant (as long as you pick something in her price range) she should pick up the bill. If she plans something fun for your birthday then she should definitely be the one pulling out the wallet and picking up the bill.
More valuable dating advice: If you’ve gotten to the point in the relationship where you’re doing things you hate but she loves then it’s a good time for her to pay. Say she’s absolutely nuts about something pricey like the opera and you strongly dislike it but are willing to go for her sake. That’s when she should pick up the cost of the tickets and whatever dinner you do that night. Of course, you could be the ultimate gentleman and pay the bill, thereby showing you care about her having a good time. That choice would most likely lead to better sex that night. In fact, you could surprise her with tickets if you really want to go for the gold.
Surprise trips and gifts are a great situation for the woman to pay. If you love your local football team and she manages to score a pair of tickets it would be silly of you to pay or to pay her back. That’s her gift to you and you should enjoy it. It’s a lovely thing to give someone a gift and giving it means covering the bill. In truth there are no hard and fast rules about when a woman should pay but it’s good to remember that it’s not always a bad thing and that if she wants to pay for a date you don’t have to feel insulted or emasculated.
