Posted on10 Aug 2012
First impressions are important in all facets of life and that includes online dating.. If you have a terrible profile a pretty girl is going to move on to another guy instead of messaging you. The same goes for when you approach a girl online via a dating site or social networks you might belong to. Those first few sentences in your message will go a long way towards determining whether she reads the whole thing, has any interest in you, messages you back, etc. I don’t want to put too much pressure on you, but the first message is of the utmost importance so don’t screw it up. The tips contained in this article should greatly assist you in approaching a girl online.
Approaching a girl online is not quite the same as it would be in a bar. In person it has much more to do with your attitude and looks than it does with what you’re saying. If you’re good looking enough you can say just about anything to a girl and as long and it’s not disgusting she’ll let you buy her a drink and chat her up. It’s a little different online. You’ll need to display a sense of wit and intelligence in that message or she’s not going to even bother looking at your picture. You’ll need to show that you know how to communicate and know how to write just a little bit.
For that reason it’s smart to make sure that your message is free of glaring grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. Most browsers these days have a spell check feature so make sure you use it (I know this seems nitpicky but it’s useful). Capitalize everything and for the most part there’s no reason to write like you’re sending a text since you’re sending an online message where you can use all the space you want (although sounding like an English professor will be a turn off for most women).
When composing the content of your message it’s important to remember that the vast majority of girls on an online dating site get tons of messages. Your job is to stand out from all those guys in some way, which means avoiding their mistakes. That’s why it’s generally not wise to tell the girl how hot she is, etc. She’s heard that thousands of times in all likelihood so you’re just another guy in the boring pile that can’t see past her good looks. Even if she’s flattered you still don’t stand out from those guys. It’s better to give a quick look through her profile and come up with something specific to say. Don’t make it creepy though; you don’t want to sound like a stalker.
Try and find something about her that you respond to (outside of her good looks, of course) and build your message around that. You immediately establish common ground and you seem like the kind of guy she would get along with. Remember, the goal of the first message is really to get her to visit your profile, see if you’re the kind of guy she wants to date, and then message you back. You don’t have to get her to fall in love with you. Also, even if you’re strictly looking for a hook up it’s best to avoid being directly sexual or crude when messaging a girl. That will never work and will likely get you labeled as a disgusting pig (by the way, a huge number of guys send messages like that so if you send one that’s witty, polite, direct, and personal you stand out immediately and stand a much better chance of being contacted).
