Posted on10 Dec 2012
You managed to find a date with a girl you’re into and you thought it went well. You picked a nice place, the conversation was good, and it seemed like she had a good time. She hasn’t called you back yet though, and you get the feeling she’s not going to. So what happened? Hopefully this dating advice article will both explain what happened and help you avoid it next time around.
First there’s the difficult option. There’s always a chance that she simply doesn’t feel the same way that you do about the date. You had a good time and you thought she had a good time, but there’s a chance she didn’t. Maybe she wasn’t attracted to you as she wanted to be, maybe the conversation wasn’t what she was hoping for, maybe she just has a feeling that you’re not the right guy and she wants to move on. Those are all possibilities and they’re largely out of your control. The real online dating advice is how you can change the elements you control and apply a little practical knowledge to dating. When you find a date you’ve made big steps, but there’s still a long way to go before it turns into a second date, let alone a long term relationship with all the pleasures that come with such a thing.
In short, the key to getting her to call you back is to stand out from other guys she’s dated or meet on-line in the past. That can be more complicated than it sounds though, which is why you’re here for dating advice. If you’re planning the date then it’s up to you to make it special in some way. You don’t want to go over the top that’s for later dates when you’ve gotten to know each other better but you stand a much better chance of making it to a second date if you beyond a coffee shop, dinner, or movies. That stuff works, of course, but we’re talking about the best way to stand out from the crowd here and coming up with a unique but simple first date is the best way to do so.
It’s not enough to plan a unique date though. You need to foster a sense of connection, which means conversation. Your task is to plan a date that allows for easy conversation but stands out in some way from typical first date choices. A first date at a zoo is a better choice than you might imagine. It’s casual and allows for all the conversation you could ever want, but the awkward lulls that can accompany a dinner date don’t exist since you can always point at the cute or scary animal. It’s a unique enough experience that you’ll stand out but it’s not overwhelmingly unique (skydiving on a first date, while unique, would likely be a disaster since there would be very little getting to know you and a whole lot of terrifying falling at high speeds).
Once you find a date your mission is to plan something that feels unique to her but is simple enough to allow for conversation since that’s where the real connection is likely to come. Also remember that when on the date it’s important to show your interest in her by engaging on conversation and listening. Don’t make an interview though; she doesn’t want to feel like you’re throwing rapid fire questions at her. Make it a conversation where you share stories, learn about each other in a natural way, and have a good time. That’s where you’ll both find the spark and create a relationship worth being in.
