Posted on18 Dec 2012
One of the great things about online dating is that it provides a wealth of data for those inclined to study it intensely and dig out useful information for the rest of us. For instance, did you know that the vast majority of online daters are prone to boring conversations when they make contact? Boring is a subjective term, of course, but in general people don’t take risks when making contact because they don’t want to rock the boat. Men and women alike message about topics least likely to offend, such as the weather, where you went to college, favorite foods, etc. It’s nice to know that stuff about someone, but ultimately it does nothing to stimulate your brain or anyone else’s, and that’s a problem.
If you want to make an impression in online dating and ultimately find a date (or lots of dates), you need to read the online dating advice we provide in this article. The most important advice is, you need to stand out from the crowd. Send a message asking where the girl (or guy) went to college or ask her about the snowstorm that blew through last week and you’re like every other guy out there. You leave too much to chance if you do that. To find a date you’ll need to get lucky and hope the girl finds your picture really attractive or is feeling a little bored that day and wants to take the time to engage in boring conversation.
The key to a successful online dating experience is to take a risk. You will find a date much easier, I promise. The perceived downside (it’s not really a downside) is that you will absolutely alienate some of your potential dates. Here’s a question you can ask: How did you lose your virginity? That seems really personal, right? It certainly seems like the kind of question that will get you a fair number of exceptionally negative responses, but it won’t. More men and women than you might imagine will answer back because it’s generally a sweet memory and it’s a total surprise to have someone ask them via an online dating site. Just like that you stand out from the crowd. Some men and women will respond negatively and possibly write something nasty, but your overall positive response rate will be much higher, so it doesn’t matter.
It’s not necessary to go to such an extreme place, either. If you really want to stand out you could do that every time, but you could also go less sexually personal. Ask her about her first love, if she’s ever broken a guy’s heart (or had hers broken), her favorite date ever, her favorite vacation moment ever, the most dangerous thing she’s ever done, the stupidest thing she’s ever done. In reality, anything that falls out of that typical collection of boring topics is good and the more it forces her to share an element of her personality and life, the better.
The bottom line is that when dating online and making first contact you want to get to something personal as quickly as possible. There’s a science behind this. Sharing a bit of personal information with you bonds the girl to you. It makes you stand out in her mind as a unique memory, not just another guy asking what her favorite color is or where she loves to eat. You’ll get to know that stuff eventually and if you’ve been in long term relationships you know that stuff is ultimately meaningless. The best way to find a date is to be unique, no matter how you do it. You’ll ruffle feathers along the way, of course, but you’ll also win the heart of the girl (or guy) meant for you.
